I miss the ex tonight... On 2-23-2006 at 3 AM, I wrote to a friend: About 3 AM-------------For the first time since I left home almost a year ago, I actually miss the ex for the first time tonight. Michael had projectile vomiting and I've been cleaning it up. I've gone through 2 robes covered as well, all over the place. I wish the ex were here to have cleaned it up and to have been puked on instead of me. I'm not nice. But I'm the one with a weak stomach. ________________________________ Retribution: A few hours later I continued the email to that friend after the ex picked up Michael so that I could go to work: Not that I wanted my poor little child to puke more, no, not at all, but it was so precious and sheer poetic justice and magic that, since he had to anyway, his projectile this time was aimed directly at the driver seat of my Buick that his dad drives when his dad opened the car door as they were leaving here last hour. I smiled from the doorway waving at the child shaman who managed again not to get a single drop on himself. And as though on cue, the 7 year old little man looked at his dad and lectured that dad should've listened to me when The Momster called at 6:30 AM to suggest that he throw a plastic drop cloth over my plush, velour luxury car seats that my fat Dago ass hasn't sat on in almost a year. Should he go to school? the ex yelled over to ask me. Are you on crack? I replied. Of course not. He needs to stay home with you today and you need to call the doctor at 9 if he pukes again, reminding him of the 4-times-you-call-the-doctor policy, the 5-times-you-go-to-the ER and the-no-dairy-for-24- hours policies that I just reviewed 5 minutes earlier in my livingroom. And then MY son, again as though on magical cue, coughed and made a projectile mess all over the back of his dad's holy Steelers coat, hitting that black and gold emblem dead center and dripping quickly down the butt and legs of his jeans.... Priceless. From the door I got retribution. I handed the ex a roll of paper towel and handed a Pedialite frozen pop to the little 7 year old man who ran back for one more Momster hug, again still amazingly spotless from the last projectile episode.  jt          click to return to essay list                            click to return to homepage