R&R's new
          Sunday Comic Section
    Hark! Land found for a new jail! (wink, wink)

    "Hark! I found land for the new jail and memorial shrine to myself" exclaims one-term
    county commissioner Al Ambrosini, as shown smiling in this photograph.

    Pictured below, he is shown holding what he claims to be prison designs. We were
    unable to confirm that that's exactly what the papers were, since he would not share
    with anyone the drawings that he appeared to be holding upside down.  

    One anonymous source close to Ambrosini confided, "Nobody has the heart to tell
    the commissioner that the latest land that he found now for his trillion dollar jail and
    memorial shrine to himself is actually located outside Fayette County."

    When asked exactly when one of the insiders would break the bad news to him, the
    source expressed hope that it won't be necessary.

    Explaining, he said that some legislators hell-bent on building an all-new county jail
    have plans to introduce legislation to allow Fayette to seize land from nearby Greene
    County, under Eminent Domain, for the project.

    "This will increase the size of Fayette substantially" to get around what the source
    called "a trivial geographic issue."

    Should that legislation fail to pass to allow Fayette to seize part of Greene County,
    the source said that Ambrosini still will not abandon his plight to find land for a new

    "There's always Westmoreland County, where everyone knows there's ample
    infrastructure already intact," the source said, declining to answer any other

    "Don't fret! It will work out, even if we have to seize part of West VIrginia," he said.
"There are no pyrites here.
Our next geotechnical land
survey will say there are no
pyrites. Unauthorized
persons will continue to loot
the place for copper, certain
other metals and other
objects easily converted to
cash. This will substantially
and more efficiently
decrease the amount of
money we will pay to tear
down the place. "